Wednesday, November 04, 2015

Little Boy Lost

you hide your broken self so well
you think
you cover it with light and love
and words
carefully chosen
you're confused by the pull towards you
because you know what's underneath 
and are surprised 
at times frustrated 
that they want
you're so open hearted
but carefully shielded
and you push yourself ever onwards because stopping
means feeling
and feeling
is scary
and difficult
I know
I know 
keep it covered
easy now 
but I
I see your broken
your hurt
your wounding
your need
and I 
want to dig my hands into the middle of it
deep in your chest
I want to dig my hands into it
and mould it
shape it
change it
make it better
because I 
see the light underneath it all
through all your shit
light and golden
and I
see the way you are meant to be 
want to be
my hands
your dark
hurt no more
but man
trust is scary
I know
and scarier still when the ones you trusted
made it worse
added to
the hurt
the wounding
the broken and the dark
and all the ones drawn to you
take take take
give little
confounding you
time and again
am not them
I will never be
but you
need to trust
need to jump
need to know
this is an opportunity
who knows how many you will have
because somewhere
deep inside
you know it's true
and that scares you
brings all the dark up to the surface
which really
is when it's easiest
for me to reach
but harder for you to breathe through
and then there's this...
this truth that I should tell you
I see through you now
I always did
in a way
but now
in this
you've shown me more than you intended
and I see through your covers
and shields
I see through you
to you
that you you are
face the challenge
I promise it's worth it
you give too much
don't allow it in
but I felt the cracks
and I seeped in
you know this
you felt this
but another... you think you won't survive and so 
you pushed away
but I'm in there now
underneath it all
and if you won't let me dig into the dark
then the me
that is there
will fill the cracks
golden glow
I warned you
you know
and the part of you that wants to be more
saw me
knew me
felt me
and rejoiced
kept me close
and true
but hey
don't worry
I'll let you go
you started this
you ended this
I won't chase you
I know what we have
but if you know
and still won't do the work?
that's on you
and I deserve better
and you deserve more than what you're giving yourself
and how you're living
you started this
you needed me
you found me
and I understand fear
but I'm not it
I'm never it

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