Little Boy Lost

you hide your broken self so well

you think

you cover it with light and love

and words

carefully chosen

you're confused by the pull towards you

because you know what's underneath 

and are surprised 

at times frustrated 

that they want

want 

want

you're so open hearted

but carefully shielded

and you push yourself ever onwards because stopping

means feeling

and feeling

is scary

and difficult

I know

I know 

keep it covered

easy now 

easy

but I

I see your broken

your hurt

your wounding

your need

and I 

want to dig my hands into the middle of it

deep in your chest

I want to dig my hands into it

and mould it

shape it

change it

make it better

better

better

true

because I 

see the light underneath it all

through all your shit

light and golden

and I

see the way you are meant to be 

want to be

my hands

your dark

hurt no more

but man

trust is scary

I know

and scarier still when the ones you trusted

made it worse

added to

the hurt

the wounding

the broken and the dark

and all the ones drawn to you

take take take

give little

confounding you

time and again

but

I 

am not them

I will never be

but you

need to trust

need to jump

need to know

this is an opportunity

who knows how many you will have

because somewhere

deep inside

you know it's true

and that scares you

brings all the dark up to the surface

which really

is when it's easiest

for me to reach

but harder for you to breathe through

and then there's this...

this truth that I should tell you

I see through you now

I always did

in a way

but now

in this

you've shown me more than you intended

and I see through your covers

and shields

I see through you

to you

that you you are

so

face the challenge

I promise it's worth it

you give too much

don't allow it in

but I felt the cracks

and I seeped in

you know this

you felt this

but another... you think you won't survive and so 

triggered 

you pushed away

but I'm in there now

underneath it all

and if you won't let me dig into the dark

then the me

that is there

will fill the cracks

automatically

golden glow

I warned you

you know

and the part of you that wants to be more

saw me

knew me

felt me

and rejoiced

kept me close

and true

but hey

don't worry

I'll let you go

you started this

you ended this

I won't chase you

I know what we have

but if you know

and still won't do the work?

that's on you

and I deserve better

and you deserve more than what you're giving yourself

and how you're living

you started this

you needed me

you found me

and I understand fear

but I'm not it

I'm never it