Did I actually love my "first love"?
I loved around him
I loved of him
I
gave myself to him
I wanted him to love me
and he did
in a way
I believe
But I do not think I loved him like this
And maybe that is 20 years of living
20 years of growing up
and growth
or maybe it is what this love and I have built
the time
the trust
the
being there even though
my trusting him
and he constantly pushing me
and pushing limits
pushing buttons
but holding me
mentally
physically
when I needed him to
maybe this is the first time I've been in love ever
or maybe just this kind of love
this real
of a love
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