"Our Home And Native Land (But Not Really)"

Red dresses

Orange shirts

Yellow bellied churches with press releases mumbling

"Mea culpa, mea culpa,

but don't look too closely, don't look behind the curtain sorrysorrysorry whoops!"

And still so many sneer "Injins" and bitch about "government handouts"

immune to the truth of babies taken

and their lives taken from them

immune to the reality of murdered and missing Indigenous women

overlooked and

ignored.

And here I stand

seeing some

(not all)

driving down highways of red dresses

wearing orange shirts for lost children

and wondering how why what of the past we will own

and how

we heal from

so much

too much

loss.

Peace

Today the sun stops at a balance point 

for a breath

a moment

a time

and we look to the coming season, be it heavy

be it light

and all the build up lead us here

the longing

the waiting

the time

and time turns 

as does the earth 

without cease

without fail

without us

But today

there is a balance

both short and long

both cold and hot

both light and dark

for solstice.

Blessed Be.

"Carefully Taught"

I am broken into pieces that I don't know how to pick up
I am broken by the all of this
 
the hate
the anger
the intolerance
the division
I am broken by the brokenness 
I am broken by it all
 
we are fighting each other to stay alive
we are fighting each other to stay alive
we are fighting each other to stay alive
it's broken
implicitly
 
too much
 
how do you keep breathing
when there's no way forward
how do you keep breathing
when it's us versus them versus them versus us
 
how do you keep breathing when there's a knee on your neck
held down
held down
held down
 
police
kill
black
humans
 
actively
systematically
repeatedly
 
we train whites to kill children in school with guns
and we train police
to kill people
that they don't like.

Two Hours Before The Hail

the wind brings me raindrops

from clouds not yet overhead

and I watch them hit the windowpane 

while the last of the plum blossoms

fly directionless and free-form to the ground.

 

"It's chilly for April" we say quietly

not wanting to incur the wrath of Summer's heat

quite yet

 

and that wind has bite - 

leaving cheeks rosy with colour

and hands pulled up into sleeves

or pushed down into pockets deep

 

the rain a momentary instance

 

still snow

still ice

still life

to come.

Let's Be Giants

Let's be giants

we'll take our giant hands

and build giant buildings next to skyscrapers made of wood

 

and we'll wonder why no one sees the toys left around like Lego bricks 

and guy wires made of candy floss

and we'll play giant games

 

our giant feet stomping through the city making valleys where we walk

 

Let's be giants

and build things

with our hands the size of cars

and our laughter loud like thunder

and our hearts beating thick and heavy

full of joy and pain and emotions made ever bigger by our size

 

Let's be giants

and curl up together

our backs against the hills

our faces to the ocean

knowing more adventures await us in the morning

as we leave behind the buildings we made

standing next to skyscrapers

made of wood.

A Place I've Yet To Be And Have Been Before

I smell your smoke

through air thick with ocean

and your wildness drifts in through the open window of my room.

I can't think, if I'm honest, 

of any times I've camped without a fire

but we're not near a campground here 

so I wonder why I smell your smoke,

where your fire is,

and if you're staying warm

on this damp Spring evening

with air so thick with ocean

it carries the scent of your smoke

and the image of your fire

straight through my open window.

Fifth of June

I don't know what to do

I feel helpless

I am so angry

I am so sad

and this isn't about me

I sit in my privilege and I pick at scars others would be glad to have

I am exhausted

exhausted by the anger 

(I don't do anger well)

I have made myself sick from it

(but never have I feared for my life at the hands of police)

I don't know how to help

I can't help

I try to help

I've been told I care too much

(I do.  It just is.)

I tell myself I don't care enough

(I do.)

I want to fix it.  to fix it all.

the inbred hate

the centuries of oppression

the system after system after system of racism meant to hold some up

and others down

I apologize

for my silence

for the sins of those who share my colour of skin

for the things I can not change and can not fix

and for the people who don't quite seem to get it

yet

I don't know what to do

it seems trite to find joy

it seems lame to search for peace

how can I

share beauty

love

art and peace

when my brothers and sisters are dying

killed

murdered

hurt

injured

held down, held back

thought less of

by some

anger on both sides

anger on all sides

and I don't know what to do

I don't know how to be

what to say

how to breathe

(and yet there is no knee on my neck, no gun taking away my life, my lungs have range of motion, my breaths come slow and easy. I can breathe.  I just don't know how anymore.)